you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
