I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
