I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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