i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
