its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
