In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
They are going to name an STD after you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize