I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
