I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
