i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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