let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
