PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
