After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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