I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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