all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
