Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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