dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
