Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
