Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You ruined the universe
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
