grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
