I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
