The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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