Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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