I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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