Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
