i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
