Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
