are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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