I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
