your room smells of hookers.
And success
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
