will power is for people who don't want to get laid
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
