We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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