he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
