literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
