i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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