He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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