We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Panties = found
Randomize
