Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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