brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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