Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
