I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
