Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
