You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
