i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize