If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
