i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
