She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
