I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
