i barfeds in our rink
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
