Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
