well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
