i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize