whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
