So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
