Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
