Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Who died my cat blue again?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
