every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
