he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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