Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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