no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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