there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
