I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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