we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
