awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
