Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
