Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
