i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
